History is All You Left Me-Review

History is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera

Summary: Griffin's world is turned upside down when his first love and ex-boyfriend, Theo, dies unexpectedly in a drowning accident. Even though Theo had moved to California to attend college on early admission, Griffin never doubted that they would find their way back to each other. Griffin and Theo were "end-game." Now that future has gone off course and Griffin must find a way to navigate through his grief. And the only person that truly understands Griffin's heartache is Jackson, Theo's current boyfriend. As Griffin loses himself in his obsessive compulsions and destructive choices, he questions whether he will ever be able to climb out of his downward spiral. In order to move on, Griffin must confront the secrets he's been keeping, even if those secrets threaten to tear everything apart.

Review: 4 and 1/2 out of 5 coffee cups

This is the first book of Adam Silvera's that I have read. I bought They Both Die at the End a few months ago, but I put it down after just a few pages. I guess I was just not in the right mindset to read something like that at that time. However, after finishing this, I can't wait to pick it back up again.

I think the reason I connected so much with this story is that it is rare to come across a book that details grief in such a brutal and truthful manner. Let's face it, everyone deals with grief in their own way. Personally, I always hated going to funerals and hearing, "They are in a better place now." I cringed. Whether or not it was someone I knew personally or just a friend of a friend, I loathed hearing someone utter that line. I know it's the default response many of us have, but to be honest, it sucks. Because in that moment, we don't want that person to be in a "better place," we want them here, alive, with us. And that is exactly what Griffin struggled with in this book. He could not find a way to move on in a world where Theo didn't exist. His grief process was messy and complicated, but it was real. He struggled every step of the way and made mistakes he felt were un-forgivable.

But through those struggles and mistakes he learned what it means to heal. That healing doesn't mean waiting for someone to do it for you. Healing sometimes mean falling down again and again until you can pick yourself back up on your own. It also means there are people willing to walk through that process with you. 99.9% of the time, you aren't the only that lost someone. In History is All You Left Me, Griffin has to realize he wasn't the only one who lost Theo. It's in those moments where the novel is at its strongest. "You left us alone. Your death made us each a piece in this awkward puzzle that doesn't completely come together, but it's enough to make out the image: two boys in love with someone who is never coming back."

Most importantly, this novel is a testament to remind people how important is is to allow themselves to feel all those stages of the grieving process. There was a simple, but powerful quote towards the end of the novel that said, "I know it's lame, but it allowed me to feel lonely and didn't force me to lie to myself about how I was really feeling. I understand putting on a tough face for other people but never myself."

#bookreview #youngadultliterature #YA #grief